Leander Roxas / The Midwife Center for Birth & Women’s Health, Pittsburgh, PA / Birth Story – Part 2

.. if you missed Part 1 – make sure you go back and catch up there first!

As soon as I had gotten out of the car in the parking lot of The Midwife Center, I could feel myself “leaking”. Newsflash: your water doesn’t just “break” & you get a “gush” as a one-time deal, you continue to “gush” and “leak”. It’s weird, but since I had gone into labor the same way with Braelynn, I understood what was happening & simply accepted it. As we walked from the car to the doors, I could feel myself “leaking” more and more, and as we walked into The Center, I could feel fluid dripping down my legs (fun, right?).

Brit met us inside the doors and explained that she wanted to take us upstairs to an exam room where she would make sure that my water had, in fact, broken, and see how far I was dilated & effaced. I nodded along to what she was saying, but then pointed down the floor & said, “I’m absolutely positive that my water has broken.” Everyone looked down & took in the puddle I was standing in. Brit started to laugh, “Okay! Your water has definitely broken! There is no need to go upstairs – we’ll go straight into a birthing room then!” She asked if I had a preference as all of the rooms were currently open, and I said that it didn’t really matter – I just preferred one of the newer rooms with the tubs.

She walked us down the hall & took us into the “Mountain Room”. Behind her came Kara, the other midwife on call for the day, and Shannon, my labor & delivery nurse. They all introduced themselves & set about prepping the room. We set our stuff down & Brit took me into the bathroom so I could get out of my soaking wet clothes. Coming back out, she checked where I was & declared that I was about 2 ½ cm. dilated and about 40% effaced. Knowing that absolutely nothing was currently happening & that I had really only had a handful or two of very weak contractions, I was pretty happy with being that far along. Obviously, I had hoped that I would be further, but I was simply thankful that I wasn’t starting from zero.

Brit & Kara went on to explain that we needed to get my labor started back up. The Midwife Center does not administer Pitocin, so they explained my options. They said that they could make me a concoction of castor oil, a fruity flavoring, and something fizzy for me to drink and they said that that paired with nipple stimulation typically kickstarts things back into motion. I explained that my Mom had brought some essential oils (which we had used when I was in labor with Braelynn & seemed to have success with) that we wanted to try too. They agreed that we could try just about anything I wanted & asked what I wanted to try first. “Is there anything wrong with doing all three?” I asked. They smiled & shook their heads, “Nope! Let’s do it.”

Derrick was sent to the little deli/convenience store that sat in the alley behind The Center for the ingredients for the castor oil drink (minus the castor oil, the midwives had that). The midwives laughed that they alone keep the little store in business with the amount of “peach nectar” and “fizzy” drinks they sent people there to buy.

With that, everyone except my Mom & I, left the room. Just a few moments later, Kara came back in. She explained that sometimes, when a person’s water breaks, the baby’s head actually plugs the break. This causes, not only a person’s water to not fully break, but doesn’t allow the baby to begin descending down into the pelvis & birth canal. And when there is no pressure of the baby dropping lower & lower, it usually stalls out a person’s labor. She asked if she could check me again, this time specifically to see if she could tell if that was the case (instead of measuring for dilation). I agreed & as she checked, she nodded her head that that seemed to indeed be the case. She suggested going ahead and to finish breaking my water, which would allow the baby to begin that drop & hopefully, along with the other measures we were about to take, would help to kick-start my labor back into business. I wholeheartedly agreed.

At 9:30am, as she broke what she called “the forebag” of water, we both felt the baby drop. She smiled, “That’s exactly what we wanted to happen.”

By 9:45am, I began to feel small contractions again.

A few minutes later, having returned with the ingredients for my castor oil drink, Shannon came in with a tall glass of clear liquid. She explained that the 3 ingredients (castor oil, the flavoring, and the Sprite) don’t exactly mix together really well & pointed to the castor oil floating on top of the other 2 liquids (it looked like an 8th grade science experiment with the different liquids sitting on top of one another). She suggested giving it a good stir, sipping a bit of the castor oil off the top, and then drinking from the straw to get some of the more pleasant taste from the bottom. She smiled and left me at it.

I was completely expecting it to taste horrible. I mean, we’ve all heard of castor oil and it always comes with the connotation of being absolutely disgusting, right? I’m not sure if it was just knowing that I needed to drink it in order to help things move along or if the mix really did dull the awful taste, but it really wasn’t too bad. In fact, it wasn’t so bad at all. I wouldn’t describe it as “pleasant”, or something I would choose to drink over a Coke, but it really wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

As I drink the castor oil & my Mom applied oils to my feet, I could feel little contractions starting up again. Excited that we were successfully re-starting my labor, I smile & chatted & continued sipping on my drink.

Shortly after, Shannon came in with a breastpump & I said that I wanted to wait on the pump. I said that I could feel my contractions starting, so I didn’t think I was going to need it! She smiled & said, “That’s fantastic! I’m going to leave it here, just in case, but if you think things are moving along without it – way to go!” Since I wasn’t hooked up to any external monitors, she used a little doppler to listen to baby’s heartbeat. She would be in every 15-30 minutes until the little guy was born to continuously monitor him & make sure that he wasn’t under any duress.

She left & as we just sat & waited in the room, someone mentioned something about the baby’s name. Derrick & I smiled at each other & told my Mom that we still weren’t 100% settled on his name. We were 99% sure, but something just made us hold back a bit.

Derrick laughed, “Can we tell her?”

I shrugged, “Sure! Why not? She’s going to be the first to find out anyways!”

And so, we revealed to my Mom the name we were leaning toward. Then we walked her through some of the other top contenders on our list, as well as the two names we were debating between for his middle name.

As we talked about names & I timed the contractions that were slowly coming, they seemed to be starting to slow down again (at the very least, they were not speeding up). Determined to keep things moving & not to let things stall out again, I told my Mom & Derrick that I was going to need to pump.

Shannon came back in & laughed at us talking about names. I updated her that things just didn’t seem to be moving along and I told her that I wanted to try the pumping. She agreed that that sounded like a good idea & went on to explain the process: I needed to “pump” 15 minutes on each side, and then I needed to get up & spend 45 minutes walking around.

Enter a problem: I had soaked thru the yoga pants I had worn in to The Center (remember the puddle on the floor as we walked in?) and I only had one other pair of pants with me – to go home in. If I wore those while out walking & I soaked thru them, what would I wear home? Thankfully, I had packed Derrick an extra set of shorts & so on those went!

And so, at 10:45am, I began to “pump” (stimulate) each side for 15 minutes. As I pumped, we continued talking about names. My Mom & Derrick both pulled up lists of names on their phones & read off name after name. Nothing seemed to be jumping out at us though & it seemed to just solidify the name we were 99% sure in our minds that that was the one we were going to name our little guy.

Having finished my rounds of pumping, Derrick helped me up to head out on our walk. The Birth Center isn’t huge (Shannon had suggested that a lot of people go outside & walk the sidewalks, but it was way too cold to do that). We found a back hallway and Derrick & I paced that hallway over & over & over & over again. As we walked, I timed my contractions – they were definitely coming steadily now – about 2-3 minutes apart & lasting about 1 minute each round. They weren’t super strong, but they were stronger than any that I’d experienced so far. Walking thru each contraction was definitely a more positive experience than sitting in bed & passively taking each contraction as it would come. Walking up & down that back hallway gave me a destination (make it to the end), it gave me things to look at (there were lots of photos on the walls), and gave me a rhythm to ride each contraction through.

We walked for 45 minutes and then went back into the room. As much as I “enjoyed” walking, I was thankful that the 45 minutes were up because I was tired. I could feel my energy levels dropping and contractions or not, I just wanted to sit down.

At 12:00pm, I climbed back into the bed & worked thru a few more contractions. Shannon came in & said that she wanted to listen to the baby’s heartbeat thru a few contractions. She explained that it was typically something that happened as soon as a Mom arrived at The Center, but since I wasn’t having any contractions when I arrived, now seemed the optimal time. They simply wanted to make sure that his heart rate stayed consistent thru the contractions.

As she finished listening to him through the next 4 contractions (and all was perfect), she asked how I was feeling. “I’m tired,” I answered.

She nodded, “What did you eat for breakfast this morning?”

I shook my head, “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Well, no wonder you’re tired! You need some energy, girl! Can I make you something?” (enter mind being blown) “I can make you some eggs, maybe an english muffin?”

I said that that sounded wonderful, she asked for how I liked my eggs to be done & she left to make me breakfast.

A few minutes later, she returned with a plate full of steaming scrambled eggs & a toasted, buttered english muffin. She suggested just munching on it in between contractions – small bites – whatever felt good. I took a bite of english muffin & instantly let out a sigh of relief: “Omigosh, this tastes SO good.” Everyone in the room looked at me, “No, you don’t understand! I haven’t had white bread in weeks – and this tastes like heaven.” Everyone laughed.

I ate the whole english muffin & most of the eggs before my contractions took me to a place of not wanting to eat any longer. I was so thankful for that food! It replenished my energy & gave me the strength to keep going – I’m not sure how I would have made it without Shannon’s insight that I was hungry!

Like clockwork, Shannon came in to listen to the baby’s heartbeat and asked how I was doing. I told her that I felt like I wanted to get in the tub to change things up, but I was scared. They had told me that I could only get in the tub if I was at least 5-6 cm. dilated & having regular contractions. I was definitely having regular contractions (they were coming hot & heavy now), but I was scared that even though they had reached that level, that they still might stall out again. I did not want that to happen. I also didn’t want to be checked & told that I hadn’t progressed to the 5-6 cm. point yet. I told all of this to Shannon & she nodded, completely understanding. “Let me go check with the midwives to see what they think, I’ll be right back.”

A few minutes later, she returned & said, “They think getting in the tub sounds like a fabulous idea – if you want to get in, let’s do it!”

She ran the water & I soaked in the sound – it was so soothing.

A few minutes later, she invited me over – it was just shy of 1pm. The tub had lights on it that revolved thru different colors. She laughed: “You can turn the lights on a single color if you’d like, or you can turn them off altogether if you don’t want a psychedelic birth.”

At this point, my contractions reached the point where I could no longer smile/laugh/talk thru them. As each contraction started, I had to completely concentrate in order to breathe thru them. Once again, just like with Braelynn’s labor, Derrick was my rock. I wanted to hold his hand & look into his eyes as I rode each contraction out. However, unlike with Braelynn’s labor, I never got to the point of needing to “visualize” things (one of the things we learned in birth class before Braelynn was born was that it’s helpful to mentally “go” somewhere & visualize in your mind a different place or memory. With Braelynn’s labor, I visualized walking thru Kennywood & Disney World, and memories at the Lakehouse. I think simply because from the point of finishing pumping & going for our 45 minute long walk – to this point – things were moving fast and I never had the chance to even think about visualizing things.)

I hoped that getting in the water would ease up the discomfort/pain I was feeling, but it really didn’t. It simply changed how I was feeling & acted as an additional distraction (which was good). I had talked to Derrick about potentially getting in the water with me – if in the moment that was something I decided I wanted – but as I sat in the water, I realized that I really just wanted him somewhere I could see him & look into his eyes. So, he took up residence on one side of the tub and my Mom sat on the other side.

I wasn’t in the water long – less than 30 minutes. Contractions were coming harder & faster & it was getting to be more of a challenge to breathe thru them. Then suddenly, I felt like I needed to poop.

I looked over at my Mom, “I feel like I need to poop.”

“Really? Are you sure that’s what it is?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“No, what I mean is, a lot of people mistake feeling like they need to use the bathroom for wanting to push – do you think you want to push?” You can hear the excitement level in her voice go up a notch.

“No, this isn’t the pushing feeling yet, I know what the pushing feeling is,” I responded. (When I was in labor with Braelynn, I felt the urge to push & was told for so long not to push, that I distinctly remembered that feeling.) “No, this is different, I need to use the bathroom.”

My Mom left to go get the midwives and Shannon & Britt came back into the room a few minutes later. They asked what was going on & I explained how I felt like I needed to use the bathroom. Britt explained that I could do that, but she didn’t want me to bear down at all – she laughed: “We can do a water birth, but we’d prefer to do it in the tub – not in the toilet.” The little bits of humor & positive vibes that the midwives brought into the room every time they came in was so uplifting!

They helped me stand up in the tub and then helped me climb out. I made it out of the tub and was instantly hit with another contraction. They turned me around and had me hold onto the edge of the tub to work thru it. It was a long contraction – I felt like I stood there forever.

Finally over, they helped me into the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet & nothing happened. As I sat there, Britt said, “I’d really like to check you to see how you are coming along, would that be okay?” I nodded and they helped me walk back to the bed. As I laid down, I was hit with more, stronger contractions.

It was 1:55pm – Brit checked me & said smiled at me, “Kara! You’re doing so good! I’d say you’re 100% effaced and about 6-7 cm. dilated. Baby is about at a 1.” It was good, positive news! But I remember hearing “6-7 cm.” and almost wanting to cry. That meant that these super strong contractions were simply transition contractions & I still had a ways to go.

There was no time to cry though, because I was being hit with another contraction – hard. At this point, I began squeezing Derrick’s hand. No longer could I just hold his hand – I was now fighting to make it through each contraction & deep down, I knew I was squeezing (hard) but I couldn’t help it.

I laid on my side & was hit with 2 more contractions. They were definitely building & getting hard to get through. My Mom was encouraging me, “Breathe – you have to keep breathing.” In the middle of one, I accidentally pursed my lips, and instead of breathing in & out like I had been, I started blowing raspberries. It was totally an accident, but I suddenly remembered it as an additional way of breathing thru contractions from the birthing class I had taken before Braelynn was born. It was weird, but it kept me breathing, so I breathed that way thru the next 2 contractions.

My Mom had put a wet washcloth on my forehead, and at this point, she attempted to replace it with one that had essential oils on it. I have no idea what oils they were, but they were instantly revolting to me. I shoved her hand away & squeaked out, “No, I don’t like that!”

And then suddenly, in the middle of my next contraction, I had the pushing feeling. From out of nowhere, I was groaning: “I want to push. Omigosh, this is the pushing feeling, I want to push!” I groaned thru the next contraction, trying so hard not to push. As it ended, I panicked – saying to no one in particular: “I want to push! That was definitely the pushing feeling, but if I’m only 6-7 cm., then I’m not ready to push yet! What do I do?!”

Another contraction, and the pushing feeling was even stronger. At that point, Britt came back over (she had never left the room – it had hardly been 5 minutes since she had last checked me) and looked me straight in the eye. “Kara, if you want to push, with this next contraction, go ahead and push.”

It was music to my ears. Fully trusting her that it was okay to push, with the next contraction thundering thru my body, I pushed. “Good job, Kara! That was excellent,” she encouraged me. I was holding Derrick’s hand with my right hand, and she suggested I grab my left knee & pull it up toward my body with my left hand. “Go ahead and push thru the next contraction, Kara.”

As the next contraction erupted, I pushed again, and this time I could feel him – he was coming. One more contraction & one more push & I felt his head come out. Everyone was cheering – the voices were all a blur – Britt said: “One more push & you’ll be done!” And with one more push, his shoulders emerged & our baby boy was born. I looked at him – but then instantly looked over at Derrick: he was crying – sobbing. We had done it.

“It’s a boy, right?” Everyone laughed and Britt asked Derrick to double check – he smiled & wiping his eyes, he declared that it was, in fact, a boy. They placed the baby on my chest & I was in awe. He was perfect.

Britt explained that she was going to give me a small shot of Pitocin to help deliver the placenta & coached me thru one more push to deliver it. She talked thru everything she was doing, but I hardly heard what she was saying, all I could do was stare at my beautiful baby boy.

“Hi baby boy,” I kept saying over & over.

They explained that I had a very small tare & that they needed to put in 1-2 stitches. That being done, they asked Derrick if he wanted to cut the cord. He smiled & shrugged, “Sure!”

We did skin to skin for almost 2 full hours before they took him to get him cleaned up, weighed & measured. In that time, he was able to nurse (the little guy was literally a champ) and we were able to bond. It was amazing.

Leander Roxas Abbey was born at 2:13pm. That means less than 20 minutes had passed after Brit had declared me to be at 6-7cm. dilated that he was born. And even though my water had broken 13 hours previously, I had been in “active” labor for less than 4 hours.

The whole experience at The Midwife Center, though fast & furious, was absolutely incredible. The team of Shannon, Brit, and Kara were amazing. Every time they stepped through the doors of the room, they brought with them a positive energy that was uplifting and so encouraging. They were attentive and I was so confidently at ease in their care. They knew exactly what was going on as my labor progressed (in an almost mystical way) and handled each stage with clarity & confidence.

Because I had had such a smooth labor & delivery with no complications, they explained that after just 4-6 hours, we could go home. We ordered some dinner (we all got hoagies from a cafe around the corner), and rested while celebrating this precious baby boy.

About 7pm, we officially left The Center to head home. It felt so surreal – like it was any other normal day. As we arrived at home, my Dad came over to pick up my Mom. It felt so unspeakably delightful to be home. It was so relaxing to sit on the couch, snuggle up to Derrick, and cuddle our new baby boy. And, words cannot even describe how glorious it was to sleep in our own bed that night!!

In talking about the whole experience with Derrick afterward & how happy (literally overjoyed) I was with the whole experience with the midwives & The Center, he admitted that even though he had agreed that we would entrust my care to the midwives after our initial orientation with them, he still wasn’t 100% sold on the idea. I was shocked – he had never once acknowledged any doubt or concern with me going to the midwives. “But after today, I am 100% sold. That experience was so incredible & so much better than our experience with Braelynn – I’ve been converted.”

And that truly sums up our experience: it was better than we could have hoped for. And we have our precious baby boy to prove it.