When Does a Bride & Groom “Send-Off” Happen?

This post was originally published on June 13, 2019 and it’s remained one of my most popularly searched topics, so I’m updating it on May 25, 2023!

One of the very first weddings I ever remember attending was (hold tight, this might get a little confusing) my childhood best friend’s older brother’s wedding. I was probably around 10 years old at the time and weddings absolutely fascinated me. In my 10-year-old fairy-tale eyes, it was simply magical.

I’ll never forget: after the ceremony, the bride and groom had a traditional receiving line. After proceeding through the line, the guests grabbed small vials of bubbles and lined the walkway outside of the church in order to give the bride and groom a happy “send-off”. I remember them running through the bubbles as everyone cheered and clapped – it was perfect. But then, as the guests filtered out into the parking lot to get into their cars and go to the reception, I saw the bride and groom head back into the church.

What are they doing? I thought. They just had this grand exit from the church, why are they going back in? I’m pretty sure I even said out loud, “Looks like they just made their first mistake as a husband and wife.”

I had no idea that they needed to go back into the church to start into family portraits.

It’s sure confusing, isn’t it?

I’ve now been a part of over 100 weddings and I’ll be honest: it’s still a little confusing! “Send-offs”, “Formal Exits”, “Fake Send-offs” – there are so many options and they all happen at different times. There are bubbles to blow, rice to toss, sparklers to light – wait, when do all of those things happen? And what about the twists on those traditions – balloons, lanterns, glow sticks, confetti, or fireworks?

Let me break it down for you!

When does a bride and groom “Send-Off” happen?

A “Send-Off” takes place immediately following the ceremony. Traditionally, guests file through a receiving line and then gather outside of the church, or down away from the ceremony site, to await the bride and groom. They then shower the bride and groom with something like rice, birdseed, confetti, petals, bubbles, etc.

A “Formal Exit” takes place at the end of the reception. Traditionally, after the last song of the reception is played, guests usher the bride and groom off on their honeymoon. Since it is typically at night, sparklers, glow sticks, lanterns, and even fireworks are popular options to make this exit more formal and grand!

How does a “Fake Send-Off” work on a wedding day?

A “Fake Send-Off” takes place midway through the reception. And it’s just that: a fake! The couple does not actually leave!
Why would a bride and groom do this? Well, if they have a fun exit planned (with sparklers or glow sticks) and they want the majority of their guests to be present and take part, a “Fake Send-Off” can be a great option (especially if the reception is scheduled to go late into the night). Pausing midway through the reception to “fake” a Grand Exit, not only allows you to get great images with the bulk of your guests still present, but it allows those who need to head out to still feel like they completed the day and didn’t miss anything. It also means that you don’t have to book your photographer until the very end of your reception (which typically saves some money!)

No matter what you decide: having an outline of events printed in your ceremony program or on display at your reception will entice people to stay until it’s time for the Formal Exit. If your guests don’t know that a formal exit is occurring, they might not stick around!

A special note about Sparklers:

Sparkler exits are amazing – they are simply magical. However, please take into consideration that you are placing an extremely hot stick of FIRE into the hands of your potentially very drunk guests. If you have an open bar at your wedding, please think through the level of intoxication you foresee your guests reaching. Especially if you are waiting until the very end of the night (when everyone will be at their most tipsy) – sparklers have the potential to be extremely dangerous! There are boatloads of horror stories out there (a little Google searching will prove that) and the last thing you want is to end your perfect wedding day with a trip to the hospital. And unfortunately, the people who tend to be in the most danger are the bride and groom (they have to walk through the tunnel of fire after all) and their photographer (who is usually trying to corral all of the intoxicated guests).

If you are planning on having an open bar and foresee most of your guests having a very good time enjoying it, I would strongly suggest doing a “fake exit” earlier in the evening, before everyone gets too impaired!