Wedding Photography Communication & Expectations

(This started as a simple Instagram post, and then I realized I had way too much to say on the topic, so it evolved into a blog post. You’re welcome.)

If you are planning a wedding – I have something I want to address (so, this is me getting up on my soap box: listen up).

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of brides writing reviews about their wedding vendor team in different groups on Facebook. Whenever I see these review posts pop up, I always scroll down & read what they wrote about their photographer, because, well, I’m nosy.

Lately though, I seem to be seeing a lot of brides saying that while they “loved” their photographer, they were “disappointed” in what the photographer delivered. Not that their images were out of focus or poorly edited, but that there were photos “missing” that they thought would have been part of their gallery.

For example: I saw a sweet bride comment that if she was to do things over, she would have had her photographer & videographer eat in “shifts”, so she would have received continuous coverage of every single moment.

Another example: a bride commented that she didn’t get many candid images during her reception (other than the dance floor), and she had just assumed her photographer would deliver a variety of table-shots, candids, and dance floor photos.

Which brings me around to why I wanted to address this issue:

A wedding day is packed to the brim with moments that could be recorded. However, it is literally impossible for someone to capture every single moment.

So, let me break this down.
I feel like, in this digital age, we somehow feel entitled to everything. We want our wedding day to look like the 3,528 photos we’ve pinned on Pinterest. We want our wedding day to run smoother than butter. We want our guests to have the most amazing time & talk about our wedding for decades to come. We want it all.

In other words: we want to put on the performance of a lifetime.
And we forget that a wedding is not a performance, but a religious ceremony meshing two lives together until death do they part.

Is there a bit of performance in every wedding? Yes. But the more you focus on that “performance” aspect, the more dissatisfied you will be when your wedding is over.
And the more you focus on the real meaning & weightiness of what you are actually doing in a wedding ceremony, the happier you’ll be when your wedding is over.

Because here’s the deal: things go wrong at every wedding. No matter how much money you spend, no matter how many vendors you hire – things simply go wrong. And that’s normal!

And depending on where your focus is – will determine how you deal with those things that go wrong. If your focus is on the performance, well, you’ll probably deal with those hiccups poorly. If your focus is on the true meaning of the day, well, you’ll probably take the hiccups in stride & laugh them off.

But, let me bring this back around specifically to photography (and videography, but I’m a photographer, so I’m going to speak specifically to wedding photographs).

What if you’re worried about your wedding photos?

You should have complete confidence in your wedding photographer! If you have done your research (I actually wrote a long post about how to be confident in your wedding photographer here!) you can sit back & rest in the fact that you hired a great photographer.

1. Even if you hired the most amazing photographer, communication is still key.

If you have very specific photos in mind that you want delivered from different parts of your day: make sure your photographer knows those things! And no, please don’t just copy + paste the list of photos your photographer “must” take from The Knot. I’m saying if there are specific images or types of images you envision receiving from your day – make sure your photographer knows.

(I’ll let you in on a secret: photographers aren’t mind readers – we don’t know what you’re thinking unless you tell us.)

If candids are super important to you, if table-shots are super important to you, if posed images are super important to you – please communicate that to your photographer so they can deliver the best possible results to you.

Personally, I do my best to deliver a variety of images, but if I know a certain thing (let’s say: table-shots for example) are super important, I will put those photos at the top of my priority list.

Every wedding photographer approaches a wedding day differently, so communicating your desires & expectations up front will save you a lot of hassle & heartache in the end.

2. Make sure you have realistic expectations.

Did you only hire only one photographer? Well, newsflash: one photographer can only be in one place at a time. (I know, that seems super “duh”, but you’d be surprised how many times I have had to explain this to people!)

In other words: if I’m the only photographer & you’ve told me that table-shots are super important to you (because, you followed my first rule on communicating fully – great job!), I am going to be making those photos a priority & you will likely receive less dance floor photos & candids. If I’m the only photographer & I’m photographing the bride getting ready, I cannot photograph the groom getting ready at the same time.

If your photos are super-de-duper important to you – please hire a photographer & a second photographer.
(The same goes for a video team, hire a videographer with a second!)

And, you can just accept right now, that there might be an amazing once-in-a-lifetime moment that gets missed being captured. I can be as present as possible in every situation, but I do have to switch out memory cards & batteries every once in a while, I’ll probably have to run to the bathroom, and there might be a scenario where, I’m on the opposite side of the reception & simply do not see the little moment happen.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Even if you cover all of your bases & have two photographer & two videographers & you pay for all-day coverage, there will be moments that do not get captured.

And that’s okay.

No one can take your memories. Yes, we rely on photos & videos to capture the precious moments of our wedding day – but not every single moment will be captured & those that don’t are for you to keep tucked away in your own heart & mind.
Because the best part is: even if a certain special moment is not captured, I guarantee that your photos & video will bring back those memories years later.

And I can say that because I’ve experienced it with my own wedding photos. Moments of Derrick & I’s wedding day, that I had completely forgotten about, come drifting back whenever I look thru my wedding album or watch my wedding video. And those moments are twice as sweet as if they’d be captured outright.

One last thing: when it comes to eating (gosh, wedding vendors eating at weddings has sure been a hot topic lately – I even wrote a blog post addressing it!)
Here’s the deal: when dinner is served, your guests do not want to be interrupted from their delicious meal and they DEFINITELY do not want to be interrupted by the photographer!! The average person hates having their photo taken, and being interrupted when they’re in the middle of eating is like pouring salt on an open wound.
Trust me on this.

The best solution (especially if this topic of your vendors eating dinner is super sticky to you) is to make sure your caterer knows to serve your vendors (especially your photographer & videographer) at the same time as the bride & groom. That way, if the bride & groom choose to get up & begin mingling with guests, the photographer & videographer will be done eating at the same time.
Problem solved.