Should I Have an “Unplugged” Wedding?

My Mom recently tore apart her & my Dad’s wedding album & put it back together. The pages in the huge, white, padded book were beginning to yellow and the adhesive was letting go of the photos. It needed a facelift & my Mom put a ton of time & effort into re-creating their wedding day story into a new beautiful book.

After her project was completed, I have found myself looking thru the images several times. It’s funny how suddenly certain images invoke certain questions from me that I never thought of before: Why did you choose that church to get married in? Where was so-and-so? What did you eat at your reception? And then one time looking thru the images – one caught my eye and I literally burst out laughing. Check it out:

Okay, so this is the image of my Mom & Dad receding up the aisle after being pronounced husband & wife. Can we just pause for a moment & talk about how radiant my Mom was & how dashing my Dad was? SO cute, right?
However, do you see what I see? That dear lady, bless her heart, was taking a polaroid of my parents!

That got me thinking. There is huge hype right now about whether or not you should have an “unplugged” wedding.

What is an “unplugged” wedding?

It’s when the bride & groom kindly request that their guests put away their phones, tablets, and electronic devices in order to simply be present, in the moment, of the ceremony. It usually is paired with an explanation that a professional photographer has been hired and there is no need to do their job for them. The bride & groom want to see faces in their images instead of phones.

I know a lot of photographers push their brides & grooms to have an unplugged wedding. Thankfully, I have only run into the situation once (and it was 8 years ago where I was the second shooter) where a well-meaning guest, in an effort to get his photo, stepped right in front of the photographer and caused the photographer to completely miss his shot (yes, this was during the ceremony, so the well-intentioned guest literally stood up and moved out into the aisle directly in front of the main photographer). I see complains almost daily, in certain photography circles I’m a part of, from other photographers around the world who have this problem with guests who are impeding them from doing their jobs.

So, I totally understand the fear involved with not prefacing your ceremony with a sign and an announcement to please allow your professional photographers to do their jobs.

However, as evidenced by my parent’s wedding photos taken back in 1987, this is not a new problem.

Here’s the question: is an “unplugged” ceremony right for you? Here are my thoughts on the pros & cons – and as always, just be sure to make an educated decision!

PRO:

• Advertising your ceremony as “unplugged” will take the pressure off of your guests who feel like they need to get these photos for you. It’s a common myth in wedding photography land, that the photographer is probably holding all of the images from the wedding day captive, and won’t release them to the bride & groom except via tiny proofs and huge amounts of money. Now, there are some photographers out there who still abide by this practice, but I think the vast majority have switched over to digital galleries. At the very least, I have! I promise, I am going to give you the best images from your wedding day, holding no good images back! And I promise, my images are going to be much higher quality than the photos taken by your guests in the 9th row of pews, in an old dark church, from their iPhone. So, letting your guests know that your photographer is going to share all of the images afterward, takes the pressure off of them feeling like they need to pick up the slack.

CON:

• A lot of guests just want to take a few photos and truly feel gipped when they are asked not to. Especially in today’s day & age, it almost seems like a person didn’t attend an event if they didn’t take any photos. What are they going to do with those photos? Probably post a few on Facebook, but that’s about it. It’s simply a feeling that they have to capture every moment, and taking that right away from your guests may leave them a bit grumpy. For example, it is in my Grandma’s blood to take photos (have I written about that? I should!) and if you deprive her of that right, she is going to be upset the rest of the day. Her camera comes out every time we are all around the dinner table together, holidays, birthdays, and basically whenever it’s within reach. It is simply her way of documenting life. We all understand that and oblige (even if we have mouths full of food and/or making a silly face) She’s not the only one who would feel left out if she couldn’t take a few images.

PRO:

• As I already mentioned, in the wide shots of the bride walking down the aisle, the last thing she wants to see in her professional photos is a phone in front of every one of her guest’s faces. She wants to see smiling, tearful, emotional faces, I promise! Having an “unplugged” ceremony cuts way back on the number of phones, tablets, and digital cameras you’ll see up in front of your guests faces.

CON:

• However, not everyone will listen. This is probably the biggest downfall to truly setting your heart on an “unplugged” wedding. No matter how much you advertise, beg, and plead with your guests not to take any photos or be on their electronic devices at all, some guests simply will not heed your requests. Print it in your program, have a large sign as everyone is coming in, even have the Pastor announce it before the processional begins, people will still ignore it. I hate to say that, but it’s the truth. Like I said, that need that has been built into us to capture every moment will overtake a few well-meaning guests and they’ll simply have to take a few photos.

Where does that leave you?

I think the concept of asking your guests to be fully present with you during your ceremony is awesome. However, it is a challenge for anyone to face: putting your phone away for 30 minutes can be almost impossible. It is a noble cause though & it just may challenge your guests to re-think how much they are on their devices & if they are truly necessary. I’d say, go for it! But just know, that there will be some guests who will not be up to the challenge, who will have their phones & digital cameras out.

As long as you realize, that like every part of your wedding day, it will likely not go as you imagined it and you are okay with that? It will all be just fine.

What are your thoughts?
Have you ever been to an “unplugged” wedding?
Did you abide by the “rules” or were you a rebel?