Should I Feed My Wedding Photographer

If you’ve watched the news at all over the last few weeks, you’ve probably seen the “big” news story in the wedding world: a photographer was denied food or drink at a reception and so he deleted all of the photos he had taken & left.

Obviously, there’s a lot more to this story than just that.
For example: the “photographer” isn’t actually a photographer, but a dog groomer who snaps photos of the dogs he grooms.
A “friend” was getting married & knew his groomer-friend was “good” with a camera, so he begged him to be their wedding photographer.
Eventually, the groomer-friend gave in because the couple was on a “shoestring” budget & they were willing to take whatever he could give them.
They agreed to a $250 price-tag & the groomer-turned-photographer agreed to shoot for about 10 hours.
The groomer-turned-photographer arrived to the reception & realized, the bride & groom had no intention of feeding him. So, he told the groom that he was going to leave for 20 minutes to go get something to eat & drink.
The groom denied his request, saying that the groomer-turned-photographer was “the photographer” & needed to stay & take photos. He then threatened the groomer-turned-photographer that if he left, even for just 20 minutes, that he would not pay him his $250.
At that point, the groomer (who was never a photographer) deleted every single photo he had taken right there in front of the groom & left.

There are so many screwed up pieces to this story (the pricetag, the “friendship”, the lack of communication) but let’s just talk about one:

Should you feed your wedding photographer?

I will start by saying, from my own personal experience as a wedding photographer over the last 12 years – I have never been denied food or drink at a wedding.
In fact, most of the time, my brides & grooms make sure that I’ve eaten by checking in with me after dinner is over. (I seriously have the BEST clients on the entire planet!)

That doesn’t always mean that my “eating experience” is perfect.

Sometimes, I’m given an escort card & have a reserved seat at a table (either with wedding guests or at a separate vendor table). This scenario is always the best, because this means I’m fed right along with the guests, I have a plate & silverware, and I have a place to sit down for a few moments.
Sometimes, if there is no reserved seat for me, I end up sitting at the DJ booth with the DJ & we eat together. This scenario isn’t bad – I don’t mind hanging out with the DJ! But it can be tricky if there isn’t an extra chair & I usually have to go hunting for a plate & silverware.
Sometimes, if there is no reserved seat for me, and the DJ is set up in a way that does not allow me to hang out with him, I end up sitting on the floor, tucked into a corner, or in another room. It isn’t ideal, but at least I get to eat! (This is rare, but it tends to happen at once or twice a year.)

Let me walk you through a typical wedding day for me, as a wedding photographer:

I frequently shoot for a solid 5-6 (& sometimes more) hours before we make it to the reception. This means that I’ve most likely been shooting thru lunch & by the time we get to dinner at the reception, the last meal I’ve eaten was breakfast. (I’ve learned to sneak in a good snack or two during transit or else I end up with nasty hangover-like-symptoms the following day.)

Wedding photography is an extremely physically demanding job. Not only do I mentally have to be on top of my game, but I’m constantly lifting & carrying hundreds of pounds of equipment. I never sit down, I am constantly on my feet, sometimes running to catch up to events (although, I really try not to run, I hate running).

All this together, makes for one, literally starving photographer, by the time dinner rolls around.

And here’s the deal: the wedding is not over once dinner is served. In fact, far from it – the night is usually just getting started! You’ve got special dances, the cake cutting, the bouquet & garter toss, the money dance, group photos, open dancing, and then sparklers or fireworks (or whatever the grand finale of the night is).
In other words: a wedding photographer can still work several hours past dinner.

Once upon a time, I worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was actually illegal for someone to work more than a certain number of hours without being provided a break.

Listen – no one wants their photos taken while they’re eating. That’s just super awkward!
Your guests never know what to do: do they act like a camera isn’t pointed at them?
Do they stop eating (mid-bite) and smile?
Do they get up from their delicious, hot food, in order to move into place for a group photo?
Trust me: the last thing a wedding photographer wants to do is interrupt a group of people who are eating & ask them for a photo.

Sitting down, having a few moments to eat, gives your wedding photographer a chance to refresh, refuel, and recharge, making them happy to get back up & finish providing you with the best photography for the rest of your night!

Was it right for the groomer-turned-photographer to delete all of the couple’s wedding images? No.
Was it right for the groom to deny his “friend” a chance to get something to eat & drink? No.
Should the situation have been handled differently? Yes.

Here’s the thing: I truly believe that most brides & grooms are not “out to get” their wedding photographer. They realize that we need to eat too & are only too happy to provide us that chance.

The snag I think most couples run into is: if the reception venue does not already have a specific spot for vendors to sit & the venue/caterer fails to bring it to the bride & groom’s attention (“Where would you like your vendors to sit?”), it’s just something a couple does not think about – especially on their wedding day! There are so many other details to worry about – having a seat & meal for your wedding photographer can easily fall through the cracks.