I distinctly remember sitting on a swing in my backyard, when I was probably about 9 years old, planning out my wedding.
Actually, I can’t even go that far – I remember planning out my bridal party. Obviously I had my groom (at the time, he was a cross between a young Titanic Leonardo DiCaprio & Full House John Stamos), but the next most important people in my plan, were my bridesmaids. I planned out my list in my head: the girl who lived next door, a few friends from church, and a friend from our homeschool co-op. None of my sisters made the cut – at 6 & 3 years old, they were obviously too young (3 of my siblings hadn’t even been born yet!)
I remember memorizing that list of names so that when my Prince Charming strolled onto the scene, I would be ready to go. Of course, when he did arrive to the movie set of my life, my entire list had changed & no one who was in that original lineup made the cut (and suddenly all of my sisters did!)
How does a girl go about picking a few special friends to make up her girl squad?
Pick Friends Who Will Selflessly Help
Here’s the deal: wedding planning is overwhelming. It’s hard work. There are so many decisions to make, so many plans to decide on, so many tasks that need completed. From big things like picking a ceremony & reception venue, to little things like collecting RSVP cards and printing programs, the list of things that have to happen to pull a wedding together is a mile long.
As a wedding photographer, I can say without a doubt, that a bride’s bridesmaids can make or break a wedding day. I’ve seen both spectrums: bridesmaids who are completely self-absorbed, completely focused on what they look like, what they feel like, what needs to happen in their little bubble, and I’ve seen bridesmaids who are completely bride-focused, constantly asking what they can do to help, putting their own needs on the line to make the day perfect for the bride, volunteering to do the “dirty jobs” on a wedding morning to take all of the stress off of the bride.
I’m not saying that bridesmaids should be little slaves, but I will say that when you are choosing your bridesmaids, I would definitely take into consideration their personalities and if they are going to be helpful or hurtful to you. If you are asking them to be in your bridal party simply because you’ve known them the longest, or because they’re beautiful, or because you feel obligated to, I’d think twice.
Bridesmaids are not just a group of girls you choose to stand beside you on the altar during your wedding ceremony – there is so much more that they can and should do (I should write a post about bridesmaid’s responsibilities, shouldn’t I?) They make up your girl squad – your dream team – and can make the morning of your wedding stress-free & easy-going or difficult & challenging. Choose wisely & don’t be afraid to do what’s best for you!
