Groomsmen Duties & Responsibilities

Most people only attend a handful of weddings in their entire life. That handful might be all bunched up when you attend 7 weddings over the course of 18 months, but then a few years might pass before you’re invited to attend another. And when that next wedding comes along and you’re asked to be a groomsman, do you have any idea what that means?

The obvious answer is “Well, duh. I rent a tux, attend the bachelor party, and drink on the wedding day.” But let’s be serious: the role of “Groomsman” involves a little more than just that!

Groomsmen might not have the list of responsibilities that a bridesmaid has (bridesmaids are usually the ones running around the morning of the wedding carrying out tasks for the bride), but groomsmen still play a very important role on the wedding day.

If you’re a groomsman for an upcoming wedding, here are some things I’ve observed that are your responsibilities (that most guys honestly just don’t think about!)

What are the duties & responsibilities of a Groomsman?

• Be prepared to get dressed. You’d be amazed at how many guys don’t realize that they need certain clothing articles outside of what comes in the bag with their tux rental. Don’t forget things like undershirts (grey is the magical color to wear under a white dress shirt), socks, deodorant, cologne, & hair products. Depending on your rental, you might need to bring your own shoes and/or tie. And if the groom has gifted you special cufflinks, you can’t forget those!
• Tie your tie or bowtie. Usually, the morning of a wedding, the groom & his guys get ready together. And 90% of the time, only one of the guys in the group knows how to tie his tie (or bowtie). This leads to either YouTube tie tying tutorials, or that one guy tying every single guys’ tie. So, if you need a refresher, practice a few days before the wedding!
• Fold your pocket square. Even rarer than being able to tie a tie, is the ability to fold a pocket square properly. Trust me, it’s not as easy as it looks! If your tux comes with a pocket square, the best thing to do is to ask at your last fitting for the folks at the rental shop to show you how best (and easiest) to fold that slippery thing. Knowing how to fold that small piece of silk will make you look like a hero among your fellow groomsmen.
• Volunteer to take the tuxes back. All of the guys’ tuxes (including the groom’s) need to be returned to the rental place the day after the wedding. Help your fellow gentlemen out by volunteering to be the one to return them all. So many times, bridal party members are from out of town & are traveling home the next day, so one guy volunteering to take everyone’s tuxes back is a huge time-saver & help!
• Keep the alcohol to a minimum. We all know that guys love to drink as they get ready for a wedding. It helps calm nerves & helps promote the “party” atmosphere of the day. We’ve all heard the horror stories of the groom who is so drunk when he shows up at the ceremony, that he can barely speak his vows (and Great Aunt Penny can smell the alcohol from the 5th row back). Be a responsible groomsman and don’t drink too much. And save the hard liquor for the reception. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of alcohol to drink after you get thru the ceremony & formal portraits!
• Know your responsibilities at the ceremony.
  • Are you a greeter? If there are enough groomsmen, it is helpful to have a groomsman at the door, opening the door for arriving guests, welcoming them to the wedding, giving them a program, and giving them instructions on where to go from there. Suggest where to hang their coat, know where the restrooms are (because guests will ask), and direct them to head up toward the ceremony space.
  • Are you an usher? An usher traditionally escorts guests into the ceremony space. He offers his arm to the lady (and her guests walks along behind). He asks if the guests are there for the bride or groom, and seats them on the proper side of the ceremony, leaving them with a wedding ceremony program. Make sure you know which side of the ceremony is which! It’s awkward to seat guests who are there to see the bride on the groom’s side (for both you & the guests).
  • Are you in charge of the aisle runner? Traditional wedding still have aisle runners & it’s typically 2 groomsmen who pull it down the aisle. The process seems simple, but it’s actually tricky! It takes just the right amount of pull & speed to make it – just take your time!
  • Are you ushering in a family member? The immediate family of the bride & groom will be the last guests to be seated. Seating the grandparents & parents officially begins the ceremony & usually, groomsmen will be assigned to each important family member to usher them in & seat them.
• Know your responsibilities after the ceremony.
  • Does someone need to help Grandma back out of the ceremony space?
  • Are there bubbles or rice that need to be passed out?
  • Do you know immediate members of the groom’s family that you can help round up for family photos?
  • The bottom line is: after the ceremony ends, the day still marches on! Be available to help & do whatever is needed! Don’t simply disappear because the ceremony is over & you don’t have any more “responsibilities”.
• Know your responsibilities at the reception.
  • Usually, by the time the reception rolls around, the groomsmen are free to eat, drink, and party. There are still speeches & toasts to be made, special dances to organize, and formal exits to execute. If you haven’t been given a specific responsibility by the bride & groom, just be available to help in any way you can.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Be helpful & supportive in absolutely any way that you can. There are so many moving parts on a wedding day & so many little things that have to happen. The bride & groom cannot physically do it all. But if you keep close, when they realize something little that needs to be done (running to grab something from the car, helping set something up, giving the DJ or caterer or photographer updates from the bride & groom) – you suddenly turn into the most valuable asset on a wedding day.

After all – it’s a big day for your friends the bride & groom. Be there to help in any way you can (even if it seems minuscule, small, or unnoticed). The little things you do will help carry the day forward in a better way!

Are there any big groomsmen responsibilities that you’d add to my list? I’d love it you’d leave me a comment & share it below!
Also, if you are planning your wedding, why don’t you share this post with your groomsmen to help them out & give them the heads up to begin thinking about their duties on the big day?