3 Things I Wish I Could Tell Every Bride And Groom

I’ve been a wedding photographer for going-on 15 years now and I consider myself pretty straight with my couples – when it comes to their photography anyway.

I’ve photographed enough weddings over a long enough period of time that I just know certain things about wedding days. I know how long things take (and the good potential there is that those “things” will take longer). I know how to wrangle rowdy bridal parties. I know how to be polite-but-firm with “Uncle Bob” (you know, that random family member who’s always sneaking around with a camera, because he’s under the misguided, “old-fashioned” impression that I am not going to give every photo I take to the bride and groom in an attempt to upsell after the fact and make extra money). I know how to shoot in the rain (and wind and snow and blazing heat and freezing cold temperatures).
The list goes on and on.

But there are a few things that aren’t specifically related to photography that over the years I’ve become absolutely convinced of and I wish I could tell my couples – but I just don’t know how. (These things don’t exactly fit into my wedding photography information guide.)
And thus – ta-da! – this blog post was born.

These are the 3 things I wish I could tell every bride and groom while they are planning their wedding –

1. Hire A Videographer

Listen, everyone knows they need to hire a wedding photographer – that’s just a given. Wedding photos are a no-brainer. But what tends to hit the chopping block (especially for couples on a strict budget) is hiring a wedding videographer. The photos that are taken will be enough to bring back all of the memories of a wedding day, right?

And this is where, I’m so sad to say, so many couples are wrong.

YES – wedding photography is incredibly important. You need photos to hang on your wall, to put in a wedding album, and to post on social media. Wedding photos fuel wedding announcements, make beautiful thank you cards, and capture the best moments of the best day. Wedding photos freeze in time what people look like, what they’re wearing, and who was present.

What wedding photography CANNOT do is capture movement, building and overflowing emotion, the sound of laughter, crazy dance moves, and most importantly: people’s voices.

Sure, your best man and maid of honor can (usually) give you a copy of their written toasts (unless they simply are speaking from the heart), but after toasts are spoken at a wedding reception, they can never be delivered with the same amount of nerves and emotion ever again.

So many times, I witness absolutely beautiful toasts given by the bridal party and family members – they’re hilarious, touching, moving, and tear-jerking. Yes, I take photos of those moments, but photos will never be able to bring those words back.

And that’s just toasts – what about the emotion as a bride is walking down the aisle? A couple cheering as they are announced husband and wife? Those hilarious introductions into the reception your bridal party has been working together on all night? The emotions of the bride dancing with her Dad – the groom dancing with his Mom? People cheering? Grandma sniffling? Tissues being passed around? Guests pulling out their craziest dance moves?

Photos capture split seconds in time, but video captures complete moments (and is that much more powerful).

So, I wish I could implore my brides and grooms: please, hire a videographer!

*Can’t afford an official hired videographer?
Our current cell phones have AMAZING cameras in them! Most have the ability to film in 4K and beyond. If you cannot afford to hire an official videographer, at the very least, put someone in charge of filming your ceremony, entrances into the reception, speeches, and special dances.
No fancy camera-work is needed! Simply grab a phone tripod & press record. (Trust me on the TRIPOD aspect – it’ll make things so much better!)
Trust me on this – you NEED videos from your wedding day!

2. Go On A Honeymoon

I get it – wedding days are expensive and the thought of adding a honeymoon-vacation on top of it can be overwhelming.
But trust me, wedding days are also stressful and you need time to relax and unwind afterward.

Even if it’s short, even if it’s close to home, even if it’s not-glamorous (seriously, who cares? Sandals in Jamaica is amazing, but so is a tiny-house in the woods with a hot tub).
Move heaven and earth to make it happen. Just go on a honeymoon immediately (or as close to immediately as you can) following your wedding day.

The stress and work pre-wedding day are enough to drive anyone crazy, so take some time off to enjoy the fact that you’re married and relax together.

When I think back to the honeymoon Derrick and I went on, the one word to describe the entire adventure was “restful”. We went on a 7-day cruise following our wedding and we had a blast. Cruises are all-inclusive, so we never had to worry about what we were going to be do, see, or eat – it was all provided by the ship. We loved every moment.
And, no matter what happens in life – we will never go on another honeymoon. Life sets in after a wedding: jobs, house-hunting, moving, money, kids, family-stuff – we will never again have the opportunity to go on that restful, relaxing vacation as two, young, just-married kids, madly in love, and without a care in the world – and so we look back at it with the fondest of memories.

3. Think BIG Picture

Especially if you’re young, it can be really challenging to think 5-10-20+ years in the future. But I wish more people would look at their wedding day through the lens of “the future”.
Do the things you have planned make sense? Do they fit into the bigger picture? Or are you carrying out certain “traditions” simply because they’re “tradition”?

Planning out a timeline of a wedding day is super challenging (especially if you’ve never been closely involved in planning a wedding before).
Planning out a wedding budget is super challenging.
But I challenge you to think about “the future” and take that into consideration as you plan your day.

Are big statement centerpieces worth blowing out your budget on? How do you truly feel about the bouquet and garter toss? Is getting married in a specific location super important to you?

Most importantly though, when planning out your wedding day – taking time for family photos is insanely important.
I know, I know, people roll their eyes and complain under their breath, but trust me – those photos are some of the most important that will be taken on a wedding day. Too many times to count, I have learned after-the-fact, that those family photos were the last photos taken of certain family members.

And when someone passes away, what is the first things people reach for?
The answer is: family photos.

*Additionally, photos with people who are super important or instrumental in your lives should also be on the “must take” list. Don’t just assume that you’ll remember to grab a photo at the reception – because newsflash: you won’t. Your wedding photographer should create a “must take” list of family photos with you, and with them in charge of completing that list, it’s one less thing you have to think about.